Flowers...

Flowers!! I miss flowers especially roses. I love winter, snow and ice is elegant and all but I want to burry my nose in a flower and just take in a moment of that earthly, beautiful, aroma. I love all the seasons for different reasons, yet at times I miss flowers haha that is the only thing I really start missing is flowers. Perhaps I am a warmer weather person...

Oh my gosh!!!

This just made things so much easier on me for blogging!!! Eeeeee haha I found a app for my iPod for blogging!! You have no idea how exciting this is!!! It takes hours to work on one post when I am fighting with the Internet thingy on my iPod! Now no more tiny little typing that I can not see, no more pages shutting down on me and I can post new pics instead of just using old pre posted ones!!! Hehe now you may just get tired of all my posts!!!

My little corner of some of my favorite quotes:)

I am always at the beginning.

The aged Buddha, on being asked what life was like.

What you are looking for is who is looking.

St. Francis of Assisi

Normal is not something to aspire to; it's something to get away from.

Jodie Foster

The words “I am...” are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you.

A. K. Kitselman

"I AM a beautiful radiant powerful woman of light!"-Bellah

Do not be afraid.

Jesus

You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.

Annie Dillard

My love life. So I know every one is most likely wondering what happened with me and Matt and why all of a sudden I am with a handsome black man named Mario. Well me and Matt did not work out. Long story short he was too caught up in his ex and video games and I felt used forgotten and knew that I deserved better so I left. I had planned on staying single for like a few months, and living in kanab was the perfect location for me seeing how well there is no guys who want to date me in kanab at least not ones bold enough to date me. So I went to kanab to live.. And stayed for two weeks. You see I realized something, a month into dating Matt I had fallen in love with some one else, the man I met 7 1/2 months before as I was singing karaoke. He had bumped into me called me princess and well made me mad fori thought he was saying it as if I was nothing more than a spoiled lol princess but one thing he got my attention. He silently admired me from afar learning about me. He knew more than my boyfriend at the time and never even really got told those things about me he knew I used to dance by how I would stand at times, knew my eye color and how they change he knew me. And well he was my prince hidden as a guy I thought would never see me when he saw me better than any one else.
I am the happiest I have ever been with any of those guys I thought I was going to spent my life with. I am not going to say that Mario is the one I will be with forever or any thing like that because you see I am tired of  playing that game, saying oh Jay is the one I will be with I will never lover another more than he, Ashten is my one true love I am meant for him, wait Shane is my love and I will give up every thing to be his, Matt is the one I will marry and no man shall ever have my heart again. No more for no one can say what is to come. Yes I love Mario, I would be happy if I am with him for the rest of my life but I am going to enjoy the here and now not ponder and worry bout the future.
Here I am treated like a princess. I have been told by him that everything I do is lovely and just being told that I do feel lovely. I mean no I do not need to be told that but hey it is nice, make me blush like crazy. I feel so appreciated in all that I do, he thanks me for heating up some thing in the microwave for dinner!! Haha I am used to making full course dinners and having the guy criticize my efforts. Some times I wonder if this is all too good to be true but then I remind my self just to enjoy it and not worry. There is no use worrying over stuff like that!

Now I can't say I have found my one and only prince, but I can say I found a prince and at this time he is mine. I am happy here. I have learned a lot. Yes there are some things that deserve some work, but what relationship does not deserve abit of work. There is no going backwards only forward, up and away.

I am thankful

It is that time of the year were each and every one of us start to think of what it is that we are thankful for.

I am thankul!

I am thankful for the air I breath. It allows me to live and I just love living seeing how life is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Take a look around you, did the sun come up today? Is there at least one person that you would do any thing for? Did you fill your hunger today? Tonight will you lay your head on a pillow and sleep? Then you have some thing to be thankful for!
I am thankful for Love. I have never been without love. I use to set waisting my life away wishing for love when all along I had enough love to embrace the whole world. I just never knew that it was inside of me. Love flows freely from me and into me. And even the deep love that I dreamt of is out there waiting for me. I don't mean to brag or seem vain but many men are out there wishing to love me. I am ready to take a leap and let my self free fall into one of those man's love. For so long I would not date for months after leaving some one else. I am 22 years old. Yes I have tons of life ahead of me but the only time is now. I am not going to wait months to allow myself to love again, not when I have the chance to be loved.
I am thankful for family. No matter how crazy and disfunctional my family can seem at times I still love them and don't know what I would do with out them!! They each have such a unique beauty to them. And over the years they have each had a different influence on who I am. Like it or not they have to deal with my craziness and I am thankful for that. haha. I love them.
I am thankful for Friends they keep me going and don't let me fall too hard. I have the best friends in the world they all have taken a stand for me in my life, I am so thankful to have them. They stick to me even when I get myself neck deep into some mess. They suport me even when they know I am going down the wrong path. Thank heavens for them, for wirth out them I am sure I would feel completly alone.
I am thankful for Laughter. The light tinckles of bells of the braying of a donkey I love laughter. Even My Squeeky giggles.
I am thankful for the outdoors. The beautiful heaven that incircles me as I am out in the open. That is one thing the City can not offer me. Just the other Day Alveda and I sat on "our Rock" we carved are names in the year we graduated from highschool. The hours we have spent there laughing, singing and hearing our voices bounce off the cliff sides. all around us is the beauty of the earth and we aare free to talk and do as we please.

I am Thankful for freedom. No I am not one of those extream "proud to be an american" people not with the country slowly falling apart around us, ( I do love Amirica) but I am thankful that I am free and also for a deeper freedom the freedom of my soul that no one can take away from me, not another human not a war or anything. It is the freedom you feel when you stand on the egde of a mountian and just breathe.

I am thankful for Silent moments where even if the world is screaming all you can hear is your heart's beat leading you on in life. I have learned to listen to my heart and so far I can't say it has lead me wrong. Yes I have been hurt but each time I have learned more and more. Yes I wish things could have worked out between me and Matt but then at the same time if they would have I would have missed out on what I have learned and what I am going to expearance and just alot of life that is to come now.

INSPIRE!

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

I HAVE HEARD THIS STORY BEFORE AND EVERYTIME IT MAKES ME SOB BECAUSE WELL REALLY I WAS THAT BOY AT ONE POINT AND SOME UNEXPECTED FRIENDS SAVED ME.

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle.

It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.”

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon) so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.

His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes

My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.

As I handed him his glasses, I said, “Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.”

He looked at me and said, “Hey thanks!”

There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him to pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.

He said he had gone to private school until now. I had never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends, he said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, “Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!”

He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college.

Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak.

Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.

He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days.

I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!”

He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. ”Thanks!” he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began:

“Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach…but mostly your friends… I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.”

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.

He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.

“Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.”

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.

I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it’s depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person’s life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.

THIS IS ACTUALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE STORIES MAKES ME CRY EVERY TIME!!!
 One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn’t look safe; he looked poor and hungry. He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was those chills which only fear can put in you. He said, “I’m here to help you, ma’am. Why don’t you wait in the car where it’s warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.”

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.
As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn’t thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.
He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, “And think of me.”
He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn’t erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan.

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin.

There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: “You don’t owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I’m helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.”
Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard….
She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, “Everything’s going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.”

yup yup !!