Rant

I hate the movie Cenderella 3 where the Evil step mother takes the wand and changes every thing on Cenderella and then she ends up going back to being the same as she always was but perhaps right now that is the best I Can describe how I feel. I do not have an evil step mother I have a very loving one but  I met my prince and thought I found my happily ever after and then. Bippity Boppity Boo... he was gone.
I have been trying my best to make the best of what I have, to look forward to the future, But the thing is what if I see no future? What if I can only see me forever sinking. Forever wondering when it will be my turn?
I see all these girls Happily married and holding dear little babies in their arms, and ache for that same thing. I hear young girls complain about how their husbands drive them crazy and I just shake my head wishing I had that guy that Bug me... At least then I could say I was not so alone. I hate the fact that I am baby hungry! ( there mom I said it Every one knows now) I wish that I could be perfectly happy with all that I have... A bed to sleep in and food to eat. That at one time was enough for me. Why can it not be again? Is there not a way to teach your heart to stop longing for things. Striving for a mission was much easier than this awful feeling of longing for some thing that is gone! I feel as if My chance came and left and now I am left to be as I am forever. I wonder at times, am I a child stuck in an adults body or am I an adult being stuffed back into the life of the past. I am not sure but I need prayers to keep me from bursting.for I have came close a time or two.
Sorry for the rants. I just felt like I needed to get it out, and as of late its easier to just type it out.