Last night I talked a bit with a class mate that just got back from his mission. I can't believe he was gone for two years! I cant believe how stupid I was back then. I wonder why I never really spoke to him in High School. I mean I guess it was probably because we were on the opposite sides of the invisible line that I never really understood. I wonder why that stopped me from making so many more friends back then, It does not stop me now. I don't care what invisible lines people say there is between groups of people we are all human and we all can use one more friend in our lives. You never know when that new friend of yours may just be the one that will be by your side when there is no one else that understands. Why can the world not see it. Why did I let that stand in my way before and still even at times now. So what if I was never the cheer leader, so what if every one says that I am in the geek group and that other person is one of the most popular people in the world, so what if I make a fool of my self by saying hello to some one that is said to be out of my league. I am me and they can like me or hate me for who I am, it does not change who I am in the end. We are all people, we each have a heart and mind. What does it matter what we look like on the out side. Can't a poor girl be friends with a rich boy? Cant some one that is chubby and plain be friends with some one skinny and beautiful? I say why not, you never know that would be the soul that you were best friends with in heaven. How would you feel if you return to heaven and realize that on earth you pushed away some one you had loved so much in heaven that God saw and decided to let you be together on earth because you thought them lower than you,
wow I kinda went off on that one.
I also spoke with a old best friend from middle school. She Has been married for a year and is pregnant! I don't know what to think about that! I mean wow!!! I can and cannot imagine my self the same. I mean I am not in that same stage in life so of course it is hard for me to imagine my self as being there. I some times like to day dream what it may be like, but the lord must have thought I should be older before i married for a lot of my friends are married that are in fact younger than me. I have to laugh for those that are my age that thought they would wait for a missionary the same age as we are already married and here the missionaries return. I guess it is really not that funny,, if i think of how heart broken those missionaries are when they see that the girl they thought they had is gone and now they must start from new. And those that read this don't get me wrong some times the girl does wait and some times they marry and have a wonderful married life, but often even when the girl wait the guy returns very different and then they are interested in the girls that they thought the would never date and that girl that waited is old news plus any ways the girl has changed as well. There is no way of living two years of any life and not changing at least in the slightest. I look back over my last two years and I know that if I had waited for some guy ( this would have never happened I did not believe and still do not believe in waiting for guys while they are on their mission for it counts as a distraction) he would come back now and see that I am not the shy soft spoken girl he fell for. In fact he would realize that I am pretty mush different in every way! Even my taste of food is different. If he did not break up with me I may of even broke up with him because my attitude of who I date is different now too. I don't have to settle for losers like my first boyfriend back my senior year. Haha he was a divorced loser that drank and had the worst bad breath ever! No wonder I threw up on my first kiss ever the kids teeth were ORANGE. I know I only settled on dating him because he I thought I could not get any one better. Now thank goodness I know I am at least attractive enough to turn down orange teeth druggies. I know that I will end up with at least a worthy priesthood holder.( with out orange teeth!!! )
We can not change back. Tho some times I wish I could.
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