Just Words spilled before me

Every feel like you just cannot say any thing right? Waking up to my Best friend leaving for who knows how long again I could not really say any thing right. Oh well I guess. Its not like I made any one mad at me. I don't think. Some times when I look at how close she is with her family it makes me wonder if there is some thing wrong with me. I am the one that when parents and sister were staying in Kanab I was all for saving enough money up to move to Salt Lake City. Even when we thought of moving to Ohio I was wanting to earn enough money to leave Ohio and move to Salt Lake. ( I just feel like there is some thing there waiting in a way for me) Yes I am not saying I would not miss my family, I just am not the type to follow my family every where, I mean I loved College, Being out on my own, fending for my self, I did not call home every day( tho often home called me every day) I loved that freedom of looking for my own life. I missed my family. It was often nice to come home every once in a while, But I was not like some that if I could not get home every other weekend they would miss their families to the point of tears. Am I heartless for that? I love my family like crazy.