The dating game/ False Beauty

The perfect outfits,‭ ‬make-up,‭ ‬hair style to catch his eye,‭ ‬the way to smile,‭ ‬walk and talk.‭ ‬How you just happen to just stop by or be in the same place at the same time.‭ ‬What to do and what not to do.‭ ‬These‭ ‬all‭ ‬being‭ ‬silly little tricks to make him ‬fall for you.‭ ‬It‭’‬s all mind boggling! I mean How silly is it to go to the gym work out for hours just to appear at his place with a sweaty work out look! I mean one its a lie right off! I hate Gyms all that sweat pouring off people getting on the tools that I am now touching, I have the strongest desire to attack every bit of the work out room with disinfectant wipes. Then after that I would rather be dancing up a sweat in a empty Gym to some random playlist than be watched by many eyes as I struggle to lift weights and pretend that I enjoy a nice torture. Plus I thought when you are trying to impress a guy you look your best not red in the face and sweaty. Not to mention some strangers sweat was most likely mingled with mine because I touched nasty work out room objects.
Then there is the whole pretending to like sports or what ever the guy likes. Just because he likes it does not mean you have to like it, so what if you are slightly different? Different is good I would hate some one just like me. So boring!
Then there is the whole Big make over just to go over and see some guy. I had this friend that spent an hour on my hair for me to just go over and watch a movie with a guy that I had just met, then she spent  thirty minutes just making my make up look good, after looking in the mirror I did not even look like me. Seeing how the guy looked at me all dressed up well made me wonder would he like me with out this layer of make up hiding me. I also wondered if the hairspray that she pasted my hair down with would fumigate every one in the room.
The other thing that confuses me so is acting so .. fake. I had a friend tell me as I was starting to like a guy that I should be very proper and not do any thing crazy. Well later that night I got scolded for starting a leaf fight with the guy and giggling till i could not breathe. Some said I had ruined my chance with the guy by acting like a fool. I actually think that I my self would be more likely to fall for some one goofing off and showing that they are a fun loving person that shows me who they really are not some silly fake.
If a guy can not love you when you may have a zit on your forehead or you are not the perfect slim thing than how can they love you when your skin starts to sag, your memory slips, your hair thins and your hips grow wide?
Girls need to stop trying to change themselves. I mean even I do it don't get me wrong, but why? You can not fake who you are forever. If you end up falling in love with the guy and it leads to marriage then some how you will end up having your husband not even knowing who you really are. I am even talking about the little things like saying um you like pizza, when really you hate pizza then later in your life he takes you out for a romantic dinner for some thing he thinks you both enjoy and then there's the Pizza a lie staring you in the face.
So I am not good at the Dating Game. They better love me for who I am.

Every one looks at these so called beauties that dont even exist. And if there is some one out there that has skin with out freckles or zits, what if she has flowing long hair that shines in the sunlight. So what if you are a Size 14 and she is Size 4( Just sit on her and she will be dust lol). Who Cares? If the whole world was blind would you care if you had matching socks on? Well why match to some one else? Different is good. would you want to be fed only one food for the rest of your life? That would become bland.

When I was in Highschool I felt like a gnat among butterflies. To me their bright colorful wings hid me the small lil bug in the crowd. The "Butterflies" would stare at me. I could not even bring my self to look them in the eyes. Just hearing my name spoke in the halls made me want to run because I thought they must be laughing at me. It was not until years later that I saw me. I was Beautiful. I did not see it and they did not see it. But it was I that was the Butterfly while they the gnats only pretended to be, I was a Daughter of a King, beauty beyond words. So many do not see their Beauty. Even I can not see past the lies to my own beauty. I some times wish that some one would come up and yell at me in those times.
Like Eddie did. At a dance once I was alone as all my friends were on dates. I stood there dressed up but feeling like the ugly duckling when Eddie asked me to dance. He asked why I was not out dancing with every one else and I just shook my head when he looked me right in the eyes and said sternly Some thing along the lines of "you are one of the most beautiful here and any man should be and would be greatly honored to have you dance even a moment with them" I remember just staring at him. One because it was almost like he was mad at me and the other because not many have said that to me.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.. you don't spend every moment looking in a looking glass so you are not the Beholder... They see you as Beautiful now make your eyes see the same.

Me Make up free