I love him more

When I am with you I feel that I am Made for you. I look at you and want to spend forever with. I know you are scared, confused and searching for some peace of mind I am doing the same thing. I am scared I have to hold my self together all the time because really I just want to run away.I am the best at running away and yet for once in my life I know that if I run I would not be able to heal the broken heart it would leave me with. I gave up all others to be with you. Many guys still notice me on the trax and buses but I happily tell them I am taken and that I plan on staying in love with the one I am with from now til the end of time. I Miss you. I am scared. I love you. All my feelings sprawled out here in my blog just like before. I know that I have my many flaws and you are going to have to take some time to get used to them. I am going to have to get used to staying some place. 

To stay is the scariest thing for me. I am used to running and as of lately having some ones arms to run to I don't want any ones arms other than his.Why would I settle for earth when I can have heaven?

I love him More. 

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I'll never know whatthe future brings 
But I know you're here with me now
We’ll make it through 
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away 
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through 
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms

~Old Life~ And the Realization of my beautiful life now.

For some reason this reminds me of the life I was living for a while here in the Salt lake area. I am not in that life any more. Heavens above be thanked. I am living a daydream of love now.

Love found me. I was not looking for love infact if any thing I had given up love and thought about going back to a life style I had created for myself that was sucking light from me. I could feel the light leaving me. When He showed up and we first pledged to be "only friends" well God had a different Idea and now here We are 2 months later and I am madly in love with him and never want to leave his side.

It was only when I stopped looking that Love found me. 

For Grandma~

This is an Idea for grandma and all her jars haha what fun would it be for one of her grandkids to raid the jars and find this sitting among the jam and jelly.
Mummy Cups~

Boo!~


Tomato cage turned upside down + Christmas lights + sheet = BOO!!!

Well Hello Again

Lets see if I can do any better at blogging now. Hmmm.. Well Of course it is Halloween time so one it is time to change the background and music and start to blog some fun Halloween Ideas!

The wonders of falling in love.

I told my self I was done. After Shane I was ok with dating a few guys but to be full on honest all they wanted from me was that lil 3 letter word and when they did not get that they left. Sooo finally I was like "forget it" and started out into this world to make some friends boys girls any one. I went online even to see what I could find being that I am not really sure with this area, being new still and all.
I told myself that this time I would not fall for any one. That this was my time to be single.
Well every one used to tell me that love would find me when I was least expecting it. They were right....

So there I was agreeing to meet this handsome young man at a park to be "just friends". Now you all know me I am a stubborn turd just like my dad, so when I say that some one is going to be " just a friend" I mean it! Well this time I don't think any amount of stubbornness or even being a cynic could stop what happened that night. As I walked across the grass as saw him standing there waiting for me, After like an hour or even two. I knew. It hit me an odd feeling almost like the feeling as if I had just changed my life completely and I could not take back what i just did. I smiled and greeted him and I saw forever in his streetlight lit eyes. Love at fist sight? Well I think I might just believe in it now. That night I suddenly just wanted to be with him always.
Love had found me when I least expected it, when I had stopped looking it snuck up behind me and swept me off my feet. God must know what he is doing since I was ready to give up completely on the idea of love. I have always been a romantic at heart but I never thought any of that romance would ever happen to me. Well I was wrong. Now I know the wonders of falling in love.
1. Two hands can fit like puzzle pieces. And I swear its like they are drawn to each other. I never want to let go of his hand.
2. A kiss can really take your breath away. I have never had a kiss actually make my heart leap and my breath catch in my throat. Matt loves to take my breath away.
3. Love does make you do crazy things. Its only because you can only think of that person you are in love with so you don't pay quite as close attention to what is going on around you.
4. 5 days can seem like years, and weekends can go bye in a flash.
5. Soul mates... well Love can make even me believe in soul mates.
6. You know when you know. It does not matter if you date a year or even 3 weeks when you know you love some one and want to spend the rest of your life and eternity with that person, you know!
7. You want to smile all the time.
8. You can find home in the arms of another. :)

For years I have been living the life of a gypsy, moving from place to place looking for a place to really call home. I looked in houses and buildings, cities and towns but until I laid in Matt's arms I had never really felt that since of home. Home is with him. It is where I belong, I know now that he was what I was looking for as I searched for "home"

time likes to Fly. It really does. My birthday is in a week I am turning 22. I never thought I would be where I am right now. I Guess I never actually planned this far in my life. Well I kinda did I thought I would be on a mission but seeing as that is not where I am well I did not have any other plans for my self. hmmm. But I did not expect to be where I am now. Living in Sandy with a Roommate and her Three Children. I feel that I deserve to get back to blogging and now that my roommate has let me put a computer they had set up out on the kitchen table in my room I feel that I have the means of doing so. But Not tonight I am tired and I deserve some rest! Love and light to all my readers!!! 

Daddy

                                                                    Dear Daddy.

I am a Daddy's girl. I miss you when you are not here, Tell the boys to be nice to me or my Daddy will come teach them some manners. I call you my Daddy even when others say its like I am a lil girl, See cause thats what I will always be, " daddy's lil Girl" I have grown up so fast. I remember how I used to leave you letters on your Alarm clock and run out side to greet you when you cam home from work. I still love you that much I may be an adult now but there is always that lil girl that when I see you I want to come running out the door and leap into your arms like I was 6 again. I see you as my hero I know I can always count on you. I have been venturing out there and trying new things and I am so blessed to have a Daddy who understands that and does not preach to me saying I am Sick and Wrong and that I should not be doing stupid things. I am Blessed with a Daddy who lets me know that he loves me and will be there to pick me up when I fall just like when I was a child with a skinned knee. I wear your eagle necklace when I deserve to feel you close to me. You have always meant so much to me and I hated when I made you mad, haha we are just so alike that our heads often clashed. I grew up stubborn like my Daddy with a temper that flares and a will of Iron. But also with a heart of gold and a love of laughter and those i come into contact with. You kept me strong in my times of need. I don't know if you ever knew that. I know I call mom at any time to talk to her about the drama in my life. But when things got tough I ran to my daddy and it was my daddy that I would want to hug me when I was alone at college. It was when my daddy left me at college that I sat down and started to silently sob out of missing my daddy. I remember staying up late in my bed as a kid just to make sure you made it home alright and secretly smiling when I would hear you come into my room at night to see me before you went to bed, you never woke me and told me that you loved me but I knew that you did and that was the deepness of our father daughter Relationship. Some of my favorite times where our FatherDaughter Dates. Do you remember all of them I remember so many. Christmas shopping in St. George, we went to red lobster and I ordered a fancy drink and did not know what a virgin drink meant! Going to Harry Potter in saltlake as you picked me up on a weekend I had off from camp. You driving me to Girls state and winning that cute lil yellow hipo out of one of the machines I slept with that every night as I was away that week.
My daddy means the world to me and I don't think you fully know that. Daddy thank you so much for all that you do, all that you say and all that you are. I have came in touch with how much our relationship means to me and how important it is. You are my daddy and I only have one haha and I am pretty sure I by far have the best daddy ever. Ya every girl might say that on fathers day but I am positive that they don't know what they are talking about cause no one holds a candle to my Daddy. I love you So ever much. Happy fathers day daddy!

Love ~Rebekah Jean