Also another question is Do you like the name of this blog? I am thinking of changing it.. do you have any Ideas?
you may be Surprised!
Monday, September 5, 2011
To any one who reads
I really don't know what people who read these blogs want to see or read. I guess I should not worry about it and just do my thing. But still I worry. Is my blog at least some what interesting? haha
Unfinished poem
A girl could learn a thing or two.
A girl needs to stop crying when she hears a touching love song.
A girl should stop thinking that there is some one out there thinking of them.
They must know that only country singers miss some girl and its not them.
A girl will see some day she is not a princess in a fairy tale.
She isnt the only thing on his mind.
when she spends hours day dreaming about love,
He is thinking only of things he needs.
A girl should learn to care for her self.
No one is going to carry her off to a shining castle.
no glass slippers, not even a Beast under a spell.
A girl needs to push away the dreams of true love.
Its some thing found in story books and those are made up.
But a girl is all of those.
A girl is a day dream of a prince sweeping her off her feet.
Riding into the sunset
A girl is a lonely waltz around the tiled floor.
She is a love song that makes her smile wondering if some one will ever say those woods to her.
A girl is a soft kiss in the rain.
She has a world of her own.
and no matter how many times you try to bring her to reality
She will find her way back and be a girl.
A girl needs to stop crying when she hears a touching love song.
A girl should stop thinking that there is some one out there thinking of them.
They must know that only country singers miss some girl and its not them.
A girl will see some day she is not a princess in a fairy tale.
She isnt the only thing on his mind.
when she spends hours day dreaming about love,
He is thinking only of things he needs.
A girl should learn to care for her self.
No one is going to carry her off to a shining castle.
no glass slippers, not even a Beast under a spell.
A girl needs to push away the dreams of true love.
Its some thing found in story books and those are made up.
But a girl is all of those.
A girl is a day dream of a prince sweeping her off her feet.
Riding into the sunset
A girl is a lonely waltz around the tiled floor.
She is a love song that makes her smile wondering if some one will ever say those woods to her.
A girl is a soft kiss in the rain.
She has a world of her own.
and no matter how many times you try to bring her to reality
She will find her way back and be a girl.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Remember
Living at home I have way too much time on my hands to think. I often sit and remember all the times I held so dear. I never thought they would come to an end. There was a time when life was never dull. I felt young and free. I remember the way it felt to smile all the time just because some crossed my mind, and the thing is every thing reminded me of him. He was in a simple word some one else said, Jejavu hit me every second and I giggled. I was like a school girl dancing around my doom room as i prepared some simple meal.My eyes had a light I had never seen in my own eyes before. A light of love I had only ever seen in others eyes and thought " no that will never be mine" well it was. And can I just say that my eyes are so beautiful with that light in them. I did not see his flaws no I could not. It is true when they say love makes us blind. I did not mind. Just to talk to him was heavenly. Memories of sitting on the floor in the stairwell giggling at the things he was telling me on the phone after kick outs. wrapping up in blankets and sitting out on the frozen grass staring up at the stars wondering what life would hold for us. Talking of what we wanted out of life. It seemed we could do any thing and every thing was before us.
I had friends by the many if one was busy I hung out with some others.there was never a dull moment. We went out at night and did not worry about a thing. Laughing as we drove to hang out spots or built bonfires, good clean fun. Us girls talked about guys we liked, or what temples we wanted to marry in. while the guys talked about Trucks and some times us girls as we tossed lil sticks into the fire and made up big plans for up coming dances of dates. Our faces burning from the fire and are butts freezing from the snow. It was the life! We talked to each other online moments after we had said good bye. With no family around we were each others family. We sat by each other in church we stuck by each other through every thing. Yes we had fights, girls would get prissy about a guy liking her friend better than her, some times the guys said some thing that make a girl freak out and treat him to silence. Just sooner or later laughter filled the air replacing the tension as snow balls flew and shoes slipped on ice.
I remember that before I was fine with this life I am trying to live now. In high school this was me. A good book laying in my lap as the hours crawled by. Dinner time was a highlight in the day because it was some thing to do. Sleep could not come fast enough because I could dream of the lived I read about in books. I was perfectly fine laying out under the stars by my self until I was able to sleep. It was I normal life and I never in my wild dreams that any thing would ever change and deep inside I had came to terms with it so there for I did not mind so much. It was the only life I knew. Now I sit here book in lap, Lap top balancing on the arm of a couch TV on a Country music channel Multi- tasking as much as I can just to keep my mind off things, to keep me from running. Can never seem to keep my self busy enough to keep me from going crazy. Being alone almost scares me, food well lets just say that hunger is not there any more. the stars tho seems cheesy to say just don't seem to shine like I remember them shining before. I left that life I lived in high school did not think I would ever return to it or that it would be so hard to return. Seem to be slipping slowly from reality, Caving into a land of memory, Broken dreams haunting me. Dreams hugging me close as I drift into sleep not dreaming of the future really but the Past.
I had friends by the many if one was busy I hung out with some others.there was never a dull moment. We went out at night and did not worry about a thing. Laughing as we drove to hang out spots or built bonfires, good clean fun. Us girls talked about guys we liked, or what temples we wanted to marry in. while the guys talked about Trucks and some times us girls as we tossed lil sticks into the fire and made up big plans for up coming dances of dates. Our faces burning from the fire and are butts freezing from the snow. It was the life! We talked to each other online moments after we had said good bye. With no family around we were each others family. We sat by each other in church we stuck by each other through every thing. Yes we had fights, girls would get prissy about a guy liking her friend better than her, some times the guys said some thing that make a girl freak out and treat him to silence. Just sooner or later laughter filled the air replacing the tension as snow balls flew and shoes slipped on ice.
I remember that before I was fine with this life I am trying to live now. In high school this was me. A good book laying in my lap as the hours crawled by. Dinner time was a highlight in the day because it was some thing to do. Sleep could not come fast enough because I could dream of the lived I read about in books. I was perfectly fine laying out under the stars by my self until I was able to sleep. It was I normal life and I never in my wild dreams that any thing would ever change and deep inside I had came to terms with it so there for I did not mind so much. It was the only life I knew. Now I sit here book in lap, Lap top balancing on the arm of a couch TV on a Country music channel Multi- tasking as much as I can just to keep my mind off things, to keep me from running. Can never seem to keep my self busy enough to keep me from going crazy. Being alone almost scares me, food well lets just say that hunger is not there any more. the stars tho seems cheesy to say just don't seem to shine like I remember them shining before. I left that life I lived in high school did not think I would ever return to it or that it would be so hard to return. Seem to be slipping slowly from reality, Caving into a land of memory, Broken dreams haunting me. Dreams hugging me close as I drift into sleep not dreaming of the future really but the Past.
Pathetic Moments
Pathetic moments caught on Camera. This will be a growing post of moments hopelessly pathetic moments.
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| Hopeless |
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| Defeated |
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| The job of a big sister |
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| What is with my eye!! |
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| Locked in a Phone booth |
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| Over tired |
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| Lost |
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| Failed Pout |
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| Maid |
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| Unstoppable tears |
My Biggest Fan!
This is a shout out to Dori!! My First and only Follower!! you are amazing girl!!
For those that do not know Dori she is a spunky girl with a heart of gold and a bite like a Snap turtle! She Is never boring and one of the best friends any one could ever have. I knew from the begining that she was going to be a forever friend. She is very talented and just a wonderful friend. She knows how to make you smile even when you are blue through and through. There is never a dull moment with Dori!
Love you girl and thanks for always making me feel like the things I do are so important and great!
For those that do not know Dori she is a spunky girl with a heart of gold and a bite like a Snap turtle! She Is never boring and one of the best friends any one could ever have. I knew from the begining that she was going to be a forever friend. She is very talented and just a wonderful friend. She knows how to make you smile even when you are blue through and through. There is never a dull moment with Dori!
Love you girl and thanks for always making me feel like the things I do are so important and great!
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| In Honor of Dori Here is a Classic Dori Moment!! |
The Beast
Today I checked out the book " Beastly" I have read it once before ( am the type that will read a good book over and over again til a new book looks warn) I have read almost all the books that have any thing to do with the story line of Beauty and the beast. I have always felt like I related to the " Beauty" in most of those books. Not because they are beautiful, Heavens no! I have always had a hard time as seeing my self as beautiful. No, because of their lives, the love they have for their family ( so deep that they would do any thing even be with a beast) and their ability to see beyond the outer shell of a person into their hearts. Many have told me that I have the personality that can tame a beast and that many of my traits remind them of Belle. That is were the name Bellah comes from infact.
But as I read this book this time I feel more like the beast. I cant fully explain it but i just do. The beast is trapped in a beastly body that makes it almost impossible for him to find some one to love him. He longs for some one not only to break the spell but to love him for what he is, beastly on the out side but a heart of gold has grown inside. He has come to the point that it does not matter if he is ever beautiful (again) he just wishes the best for the other. He just wishes to love. I may seem like Beauty but in a way I am the beast. Feeling that perhaps it is impossible for some one to love such as I, that I am trapped. That my outer shell does not show who I really am.
Perhaps I am not the beauty But instead I am the Beast
But as I read this book this time I feel more like the beast. I cant fully explain it but i just do. The beast is trapped in a beastly body that makes it almost impossible for him to find some one to love him. He longs for some one not only to break the spell but to love him for what he is, beastly on the out side but a heart of gold has grown inside. He has come to the point that it does not matter if he is ever beautiful (again) he just wishes the best for the other. He just wishes to love. I may seem like Beauty but in a way I am the beast. Feeling that perhaps it is impossible for some one to love such as I, that I am trapped. That my outer shell does not show who I really am.
Perhaps I am not the beauty But instead I am the Beast
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