Inner conflict

You know I spend so much time in my relationships worrying rather I make the guy happy or if he will tire of me and leave me. Well it is about time for me to let that go. Why should I worry about something like that? No I don't mean to sound snotty and conceived but I know I am beautiful, well most days.. Haha and I make friends so easily. I could not ever begin to count the people I have showed up in their lives in a positive way and they now consider me a friend. I have nothing to worry about for I shall never be alone. Not in friendships or relationships for I am a beautiful, loving, powerful ray of light. I know that I have guys who would love a chance to date me, and all are great in their own ways but you see I have learned to follow my heart and it led me to Mario. I can't tell you if he is my forever and I really don't mind not knowing. I love him, I also know that if time does take us to a goodbye I will never regret it. Never for I am learning every day I am enjoying every moment every sweet kiss. I also know that I have the world before me and the power to take me any where.
Often I have people trying to change me, saying that I need to get mad more ore do some thing mean. I admit that some times I wish I could curl up in a ball and turn off and just be sad for a while but guess what that is not me, I am Bellah. And well Bellah is pure love and light no matter how dark the world gets around her. Last year I learned a lot about my self in impact training, but I also know that I have always been like this just not as free. See I am like a big ball of light. Haha yup that's me. I am kind, sweet and hard to anger ( tho warning those are the ones you really do not want to anger for well we are a big ball of fire then haha) My heart has been broken a few more times than a lot but I have learned, grown, taught and still glow. This might sound odd but at times I can literally feel my eyes glow haha. I know why it is that many times I do not get mad, I have learned to wait things out let my heart feel things out, think it over and a few hours later if I am over it really or I sit and talk things out calmly. If I am still mad most of the time I realize how silly it seems to back track to the past when I can just move forward and keep shining. Another thing I have learned is to take a step back and see how it sizes up. Like take this for example, say the other day Mario upset me by saying some thing I did not agree with well I now take a look at this and ask my self, is this little thing enough to end my relationship? Does this deserve my worrying? Why should I let this ruin my happy mood. And then most of the time I am good. I have noticed that most the conflicts in my life are with in me and the person my mind is blaming it on such as " she called me a mean name" or " he said some thing I don't like" has nothing to do with it in the end. It is just me having an inner struggle and I am the only one who can solve that conflict. So why should I drag others into it.
I strive for inner peace.